Learn How to Make New Year’s Resolutions that Stick!

The new year represents a fresh start; an excellent opportunity for us to reflect on the past year and re-evaluate the areas of our life we would like to change or improve going forward. 

However, whilst many people like setting New Year’s resolutions, people aren’t always great at sticking to goals. In fact, past studies have found that, by February, as many as 80% of New Year’s resolutions have been abandoned! So if that is you, you are not alone! 

How Do We Set New Year’s Resolutions that Stick? 

One psychological intervention that may assist people in sticking to their New Year’s resolutions is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT; Hayes, 1999). The goal of ACT is to help people create full and meaningful lives. One way that ACT achieves this is through helping people to discover their values. 

Values are what truly matters to you. They are what you want your life to stand for and the person you want to be. 

Like a compass, values give our life direction. Values are different to goals. Values are the general direction that you would like to move towards in life; whereas goals are what you want to achieve along the way. For example, the desire to be a loving and caring partner is a value. It is ongoing for the rest of your life, and in any moment you are in a relationship you can choose to be loving and caring. Once you stop being loving and caring, you are no longer living by that value. In contrast, a desire to get married is a goal. Once achieved, you can tick it off your list. You are married, no matter how uncaring you may act towards your partner. 

Often New Year’s resolutions are a hodgepodge of things we think we should do, and many of which we don’t. An alternative strategy for maintaining resolutions in the long run, is to identify our values before setting goals. This ensures that resolutions are personally meaningful to us. Psychologists find that people feel most fulfilled (and happy) when they live their life in line with their personal values. 

Five Steps for Creating New Year’s Resolutions that Stick!

Step 1: Clarify Your Values

Deep down inside, what is important to you? What qualities do you want to cultivate as a person? How do you want to be in your relationships with others? 

Values are our hearts deepest desires for the way we want to interact with and relate the world, other people, and ourselves. 

To clarify your values, ask yourself questions like:
•    “What do I want to stand for?” 
•    “What do I want to be doing in my life?” 
•    “What kind of person do I want to be?”
•    “Who do I want to be known as by my loved ones?” 

Below are a list of life domains in which people generally hold values (although they may not all apply to you). As you read the list, think about what your values are - i.e., what is important to you. For example, if you value family relations, what sort of brother/sister, son/daughter, father/mother do you want to be? What personal qualities would you like to bring to those relationships? What sort of relationships would you like to build? How would you interact with others if you were the "ideal you" in these relationships? Keep in mind there are no "right values" or "wrong values". 

If you are struggling to come up with a list of values, here are some examples. 

Step 2: Set Goals in Line with Your Values

New Year’s resolutions are essentially goals: statements of desired objectives that you want to accomplish. 

After you have clarified your values, set your goals. 

Goals are attainable; they are concrete steps that bring you closer towards your identified values. Within ACT setting goals is called "committed action", that is, behaving in the service of your chosen values. 

Examples of value-based goals include:

Step 3: Make Your Goals SMART

You will have the greatest chance of sticking to your goals throughout the year if you make them SMART goals. According to ACT (Harris, 2007), SMART goals are: 

Specific

Specify the actions you will take, when and where you will do so, and who or what is involved. Examples of non-specific goals vs specific goals are:

Meaningful

The goal should be personally meaningful to you. If it is genuinely guided by your values, as opposed to trying to please others, then it will be meaningful.

Adaptive

Does the goal help you to take your life forwards in a direction that, as far as you can predict, is likely to improve your life in some way? 

Realistic

The goal should be realistically achievable for the resources you have. Take into account your health, competing demands on your time, financial status, and whether you have the skills to achieve it. If our goals exceed our resources, we’ll often either give up or fail. If you lack the necessary resources there are two options:

• Option 1) Create a new goal to acquire the necessary resources. For example, if your goal is to run a 5km fun run, but you have an injury, your first goal may be to attend physio and complete the necessary exercises. Or, if you lack money to achieve your goal, your new goal may be to borrow money or set a savings goal first. 
• Option 2) if it’s not possible to get the required resources, then we accept the limitations of reality and change our goal to adapt in the best way possible.

Time-bound

To increase the specificity of your goal, set a day, date and time for it. If this is not possible, set as accurate a time limit as you can.

Start Small

Setting overly ambitious resolutions or restrictive goals can lead to disappointment and failure. 

Instead, make small resolutions you think you can keep. Set yourself up for success. Rather than spreading your motivation across a range of resolutions, you may just choose the one that is the most important to you. Remember, you can always do more than you have committed to.

To make goals even more achievable, you can break down longer term goals into short- and medium-term goals. You can use the attached template to help. 

Step 4: Commit!

Make a commitment to do this for yourself and no one else. To commit to your goals it can help to: 

Write Down Your Goals (& Keep them Visible) 

Writing down your goals can make them more tangible. Use the attached template to record your goals, as well as the values underlying them. 

Keep your list of goals somewhere where you can visibly see them / check on them. Research shows some people do not achieve their New Year's resolutions, simply because they forgot what they are! Consider putting your plan on a calendar and setting a digital reminder in your phone or diary of any relevant time frames. 

Share your Goals (With the Right Person) 

Research shows that people are far more likely to commit to their goals and perform well at them when they share them with someone else - but it matters who you tell. According to one study, sharing your goal with someone that you respect and look up to is most beneficial, because if you don't care about the opinion of the person you tell - it doesn't affect your desire to persist - which is really what goal commitment is all about!

What's more, spending time with people who have achieved your goal can also boost your performance. If your new years resolution is to, for example, run a marathon, then it may benefit you to start hanging out with people who have made it to the finish line (i.e., join a running group). That is because just by spending time together you'll be inclined to conform to their behaviour. What's more, research shows that if you explicitly ask successful friends how they have achieved a shared goal and try those tactics yourself, you'll gain even more ground. Pursuing goals with friends can also just be more fun! 

Step 5: Anticipate Setbacks (& Don’t Beat Yourself Up When they Happen)

Everyone breaks resolutions at times. That is part of being human. When we get off track, there are two options (Harris, 2007):

1. Make a resolution; break a resolution; give up.
2. Make a resolution; break a resolution; lick your wounds; pick yourself up; learn from the experience; get back on track; set another goal.

➔ Option 1 leads to getting “stuck.” 
➔ Option 2 leads to continued growth and higher wellbeing. 

It is unrealistic to think that you will never get off track. What is realistic is to learn to get better at staying on track, faster at catching ourselves when we go off track, and better at getting back on track again. 

When we “fail” we can feel frustrated, ashamed or guilty. For example, a person who has set a New Year's resolution to eat healthy, and more specifically, a SMART goal of not eating sugar for one month, may, after a very stressful day at work, eat an entire tub of ice-cream. Afterwards they may feel so disgusted in themselves that they give up on any healthy eating resolution.

When situations like this happen, what matters most is that:

1. We are kind to ourselves; and
2. We accept the situation and move forward. 

Another way to think of it is as if you are on a road trip and get absorbed in a podcast and lose your way. You wouldn’t turn around, go all the way back home, and start all over would you? Of course not! Remind yourself of why you set the resolution, celebrate the progress you have made, and start afresh where you are. 

Consider a "Get-Out-Of-Jail Free Card

Another idea - if you have set yourself really tough goals, then give yourself one or two "get-out-of-jail free cards". Research shows you can get better results by doing this than by setting tough goals or easy goals without wiggle room. Your stretch goal keeps you motivated, but your ability to declare an "emergency" (i.e., after a very stressful day), keeps you pushing forward after a misstep. 

Extra Step: Access Support if You Need To

Did you know you can access free and confidential wellbeing coaching?  

When trying to achieve goals, all sorts of difficulties and obstacles can get in the way. If you would like more support, you can contact ARV’s Mental Health Clinician/Consultant, psychologist, Adele Bergin. Psychologists can offer strategies as to how to adjust your goals so they are attainable, and help you change unhealthy behaviours and address issues that get in your way.

Phone or text Adele on 0447 331 845 or email abergin@aquaticsandrecreation.org.au to schedule a session. 

Happy New Year!

PS. If you are reading this article well into the New Year, and you feel it is too late to set new goals for the year - it's not! Research shows that people have extra motivation to tackle new goals on any date that signifies a "new beginning". Aside from New Year's Day, these may include your birthday, the start of a new month, or even Mondays! Just follow the steps above and pick a "fresh start" to get started. 

References

• Harris, R. (2007). The happiness trap. Exisle Publishing Limited. 
• Harris, R. (2009). ACT made simple. New Harbinger Publications, Inc. 
• Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (1999). Acceptance and commitment therapy: An experiential approach to behavior change. Guilford Press.