Mental Health Week 2022

Five Ways to Wellbeing: #1 Connect

Social connections are critical for our mental health and wellbeing. They have numerous benefits, including:

• Promoting a sense of belonging and self-worth
• Lower rates of anxiety and depression
• Greater empathy
• Improved cognitive ability 
• Strengthening immune systems, helping to recover from disease, and even lengthening life. 

Social relationships not only enhance our mental health, but they can also protect us from developing mental health problems. This may be because family and friends provide us with support we need during difficult times, which can help reduce the impact of stress and foster a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives.

In contrast, social isolation increases the risk for loneliness, which can have dramatic consequences for health. Loneliness can lead to disrupted sleep patterns, obesity, elevated blood pressure, cognitive decline, increased cortisol, depression, and even suicide. There is now a significant body of research that shows that a lack of social connection can be as damaging to our health as smoking 15 cigarettes per day or having an alcohol use disorder. What's more, loneliness and social isolation are twice as harmful to physical and mental health as obesity.

Both Quantity and Quality of Connections are Important

Our mental and physical health is affected by the number and strength of our connections with others. 
According to psychologist Robin Dunbar, most people can only maintain a certain number of meaningful and stable relationships at one time – approximately 150 people. This includes both extended family and friends. Because of the time and effort it takes to maintain relationships, not all of these people can be in our “inner circle”. Instead, our relationships exist in “circles of friendships ”.

The layers of friendship exist because relationships take time and effort.  We do not have an infinite amount of time to build strong connections with everyone in each circle. The numbers of people within each of the layers are also constantly changing as people move in and out of circles – for example, when people move away, start a new job, or romantic relationships start or end.

It is important to try to have friendships at all layers. A strong inner circle is important because these relationships are supportive, meaningful, and encouraging. At the same time, broader, more “superficial” relationships are still important for connectedness, familiarity, and a sense of self-worth from being a member of the community. All are important for our mental health. 

How to Broaden & Strengthen Your Social Connections

1)    Broaden Your Social Networks

If you want more people in your social circles, then you first need to create opportunities for social interactions.

Consider the following: 

• Go to places where it is easy and appropriate to walk up to someone and introduce yourself. Examples include tradeshows, opening nights, galas, cultural or charitable events, or seminars and talks. Check out ARV’s events here!
• Go to a community event, take a course, or join a group. Try websites like www.meetup.com 
• Volunteer. Strong connections are often formed when people are working together on projects of mutual interest and concern. Search for volunteering opportunities here: https://www.volunteeringaustralia.org/

Reaching out to others to establish a connection is not an easy task. You may feel more comfortable staying at home then going to an activity where you can meet other people – especially after the last few years. Almost everyone feels this way. Try to ignore those feelings and get out into the community where you can meet other people with whom you may develop connections. In reality, not all people you meet will become your friends. And that’s ok. But the more people you meet, the more likely you are to develop new friendships.  

2)    Strengthen Your Relationships

The strength of our connections is directly correlated with the time and effort we give them. To consider someone in your inner circle, it is important to invest time to stay up to date with what is happening in each other’s lives.

Think about all the people in your circles. Is there something you could do to move someone closer into your inner circles? Consider:

• Inviting a friend to your home to visit, share a meal, or some other activity
• Doing something nice for them when they are having a hard time 
• Organising a regular catch up
• Taking time to be with your family, for example, arranging a fixed time to eat dinner together
• Planning to visit a relative you haven’t seen in a while
• Having lunch with a colleague
• Visiting a friend or family member who needs support or company 
• Phoning or emailing a friend who you don’t see often
• Reading stories to your children 
• Inviting a friend or colleague for a “walk and talk”
• Asking people how they are going and really listening to the answer
• Writing a letter to a friend or relative
• Sending a friend a birthday card

To move people into your inner circles, you need to follow-up with people you just met, and catch up with existing friends. The challenge is that we tend to get easily distracted and forget about it, and can regret it later. To resolve this problem, you might want to create a weekly ritual, e.g., where you spend one hour calling, and texting people, or organising catch ups. A great time is Tuesday or Wednesday as it gives you opportunity to make plans for the weekend. 

Read Article #2: Five Ways to Wellbeing: #2 Be Active